The BigBadWolf: An SE23 Fairy Tale

Once upon an evening, BigBadWolf went out on his latest vigilante tour to find the three little doped-up piggies. "They'll be easy prey tonight" he thought.

Using his large "all the better to sniff out the spliffs with" nose, the BigBadWolf came upon a small brick building in the Vale of Perry.

"Little Pigs, Little Pigs, Let me in", said BigBadWolf

"Not by the hair on our chinny, chin, chins" said the goatee bearded whacked out piggies.

"Then I'll Huff, and I'll Puff, ... and they just relax for a moment" said BigBadWolf.

After an hour or two, BigBadWolf decided it was time to "Blow this House Down" by 'grassing' on the piggies to the local constabulary.

BigBadWolf waited patiently for the crack (!) troops to arrive, but as time wore on he decided it was time to take matters into his own hands, after all there were another 49 such houses to get through and he couldn't be seen to show weakness.

He climbed onto the roof and made his way down the chimney, ... but what should he find at the bottom? Well, in their hastily set-up property, the pigs had forgotten to seal the chimney. Silly Piggies!

BigBadWolf hacked his way through the thick growth and discovered that the piggies were already long gone, but had left their forwarding address as "Sydenham" so they must now be almost impossible to find.

Disappointed, but with pockets bulging, BigBadWolf made his way home and resolved that tomorrow he would finally get around to applying to the Police as an expert tracker. After all, climbing down chimneys was a risky business and one of those police battering rams would be much handier.

The End (with apologies to bigbadwolf)