We live in a city where our neighbours are relatively close to us without us having much choice in who they are. You kinda have to live and let live while having some respect for each other - don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself.

While smoke if it's deliberately going into your garden to save them is a nuisance, unless it's going straight to your washing line, I doubt you'll have much recourse - other than having one of your own to push some smoke back their way once in a while. Or spreading manure on the days they're having a loud BBQ :p

On the party side, I don't think a big party once a year is entirely unreasonable - although if it had been me, I'd have invited all the neighbours a few days beforehand. And even if everyone in the street did it once a year, in your immediate area, that's likely only about 20 nights out of 365.